Yes, I was a fat kid. I stuff my face when I’m anxious. That, or roll coils of clay. My friend, John Bonjovies, was becoming certified to become a hypnotherapist some years ago. He wanted someone to practice on and this seemed right up my alley. One of my favorite pastimes has been, for the past twenty or so years, solving the problem of my self. I didn’t have a voice of my own until I was in college where I made the conscious decision to not talk like a cartoon of a Texan, or a British scholar. I like to think that when I’m making art. When I’m rolling these coils all by myself and stacking them one by one that I’m going to do something magical. That I’m going to find a connection with people by working all alone and never speaking a word to them.
I absolutely hate it when coils separate.
John takes me back in time. Something like that. I don’t quite remember. He has raised my hand up into the air and now he’s taking me back. Like I said, I don’t quite remember but tears were in my closed eyes and I’m realizing I wanted to create a barrier. Eat more food. Create a physical barrier between me and everyone else. I was referred to as “a brick wall” in games of Kill the Guy and loved it. And hated it.
I thank John and he notes my unusual expression of emotion and how, had I actually been hypnotized, I would not have let my hand drop. Hypnotized people will keep it up there. They really just don’t care.